19 de janeiro de 2013

"Coma minha bunda porque eu amo Jesus" - Música

Esta música das garotas da dupla "Garfunkel and Oates" me fez voltar a ter fé na humanidade e na inteligência do ser humano. Simplesmente GENIAL!

Antes de começa a tacar pedras pelo título apelativo, assista ao vídeo inteiro, em versão com legenda em português.

Como me apaixonei pelas duas, acho que vale a pena conhecer mais do trabalho delas no canal do Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/rikilind


Letra original em inglês:
...to live by God's rule
So whatever people tell me that the Bible tells me, I will do
Walk the halls of my school with my purity ring
Unlike those other girls, I've got my morals in check
It was easy to do till I got a boyfriend
And pardon my French, but he's cute as heck
And I made a pact
To keep my hymen intact
And Jesus and I are tight
Never learned about the birds and bees
I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees
Because the Bible says premarital sex is wrong
But Jason says that guys can't wait that long
And I don't want to lose him
To someone who'll do him
I need to figure something out
Well, there's a loophole in the scripture that works really well
So I can get him off without going to hell
It's my hail Mary full of grace
In Jesus' name, we go to fifth base
Oh, thank you for making me holy
And thank you for giving me holes to choose from
And since I'm not a godless whore
He'll have to come in the back door
Therefore
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
The good lord would want it that way
It's the sweet sensation of a throbbing rationalization
It's just between you and me
Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
It's hard to be as pure as me
To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity
To wait until my marriage bed
To give my husband my unsullied maidenhead
So take your cock out
Shove it in my ass
Fuck me until you come
Oops!
I mean let's join our souls
And unite our bodies
And fly with the wings of God
Whatever you do, don't touch my clitoris
If you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ignore this
And no prophylactics when you put it in
Because birth control's for sluts, and it's a sin
I've emptied my bowels
And laid out the towels
I'm ready for romance
I'm praying to the power that's the highest
But of all of my holes, this one's the driest
And we can't procreate if we anally copulate
And God's OK with sodomy, but only if you're straight
And I'm staying pure no matter what
So I'm OK with everything but
Everything but
Everything butt
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
The good lord would want it that way
Give me that sweet sensation of throbbing rationalization
It's just between you and me
Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
I do whatever the Bible tells me to
Except for the parts that I choose to ignore
Because they're unrealistic and inconvenient
But the rest, I live by for sure
So let's not talk about how the good book
Bans shellfish, polyester and divorce
And how it condones slavery and killing gays
Because those parts don't count of course
Let's cherry pick the part about losing my cherry
And ? for ambiguities and omissions
And circumvent any real sacrifice
And still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted positions
And don't you dare question my convictions
And don't look closely at the contradictions
Just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion
And have faith in its complete jurisdiction
It's the only way to measure if you're good or not
And when you're in a debate, just say to have faith
Because when up against logic it's the only card you've got
So close your eyes
Take a deep breath
And
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
The good lord would want it that way
Give me that sweet sensation of irrational rationalization
It's just between you and me
Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
Yeah, my chastity belt has locks
So sometimes you need to think outside the box

6 de janeiro de 2013

Reformando o Cabelo das Barbies e Bonecas

Chapinha nas bonecas Barbies.
Achei essa dica interessante para colecionadores de brinquedos antigos. Uma amiga minha testou e disse que funciona. 

REFORMANDO O CABELO DE BONECAS

Se sua filhota tem um monte de bonecas e estão todas descabeladas segue receitinha de uma progressiva para Barbie.

ATENÇÃO MAMÃES, FAÇA VOCÊ MESMA, NÃO DEIXE QUE SUA FILHA MEXA COM ÁGUA FERVENTE!

Você vai precisar de:

- Um pedaço de papel filme;
- Água;
- Detergente;
- Amaciante de roupas;
- Escovinha de cabelo da Barbie.

Como fazer:
1º passo: Tire as roupas, acessórios, enfim, tudo que tiver na Barbie.

2º passo: Enrole um pedaço de papel filme em todo o rosto da Barbie, pois isso garante que se a maquiagem da boneca tiver glitter, não vai sair.

3º passo: Lave o cabelo da boneca com detergente, de preferência neutro, mas com outros detergentes também dá certo. E retire o sabão do cabelo da Barbie.

4º passo: Deixe o cabelo da boneca de molho no amaciante diluído em água por uns 5 minutos, ou mais.

5º passo: Retire o amaciante do cabelo da boneca e penteie bem retinho, pois vai ser assim que vai ficar.

6º passo: Deixe a boneca sentada, ou de algum modo que você não precise segurar (sem ser deitada) e jogue água quente, quase fervendo. Logo em seguida jogue água gelada. e deixe secar ao ar livre. Para acelerar o processo, deixe no sol.

Pronto! Cabelos da Barbie lisinho, brilhante e sem volume!

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